Wait, You Did What?

 

Wait, You Did What? by T. A. Moorman

Published 1/16/18 by After Glows Publishing

Contemporary/Romantic Comedy

 
Synopsis:
Justine had the job of her dreams, the best parents in the world, and a brother she more than just tolerated. The one thing she gave up on was finding love. She didn’t need that to be happy, right? In helping her brother pull off his own last-minute wedding, Justine may be in for a surprise of her own, and find love had been right there in her face the entire time.
Join in on Justine’s adventure of #love#laughter,
and #limousines#PreOrder your copy today.
Excerpt:
Pops was a six foot three inch tall bear of a white man with white hair cut to the quick, with a small beard and mustache that made his handsome face look menacing, when in truth he was one of the nicest men you’d ever meet. Mom was just a touch over five feet, a fierce, robust black woman with more than a touch of Native American. She had long dark brown hair and the face of an angel, though she could be mean as a damn grizzly if you got on her wrong side. She was also more than a touch racist: she doesn’t count Pops as white. Yes, I know how idiotic that sounds. But since he grew up in the heart of Detroit and played pro basketball for a while until an accident took out his knee, Mom said that made him black enough for her. Did I mention they were a touch insane?
“Well, don’t just stand there like some statues. Your mom made some brunch and has it all set up nice in the dining room,” Pops said as he ushered us in, “And she wouldn’t let me touch a damned thing ’til y’all got here and I’m half starved.”
“You got enough meat on those bones to afford to miss a meal or two,” Was Mom’s snappy reply to that comment.
“Estelle, you wound me with your words. Now, I’m going to need some extra affection from you or I’ll start believing you just don’t love me like you used to.”
“I’ll give you some extra affection alright, a whack upside the back of your head if you touch that food before we say grace.”
Rolling my eyes at that, I sat down. I couldn’t help but smile at how much the two of them loved one another, as we bowed our heads to say grace. They almost gave me hope that I could find that type of love too.
Almost.
Mom cleared her throat before saying, “There’s some grown up juice mixed in with the orange juice, since I’m more than sure we gonna need it. Nothing ever bodes well when Max calls and says he wants to discuss something with us.”
“Ma, come on, maybe I just wanted to spend some time with my family.”
“Boy, do I look like I was born yesterday to you? If so, them damn contacts ain’t worth a damned dime that you paid for ‘em, and you need to go get a refund.”
I just about choked on my juice listening to the two of them go back and forth. I don’t think Pops even heard a mumbling word over his own chewing. I barely recall seeing the man even fix his plate, but when I looked over at him he was already halfway done and eyeballing seconds.
I had a coughing fit so bad Pops was about to get up and beat me on the back until I choked out an, “I’m okay,” when I heard Max telling Mom, “Maybe I wanna just discuss going on a family vacation. We haven’t done that in a while now.” I downed another glass of ‘grown up juice’ to help soothe my throat, and get ready for the big reveal.
“Maybe if you actually ate some food to go with all that juice you keep downing you wouldn’t be over there having spasms,” Pops suggested to me between mouthfuls.
Only thing I could say to that was, “I am. I’m just a bit more thirsty than I am hungry.” You would be too if you knew just what kind of vacation your son was talking about.
As if he was reading my thoughts, Max cut his eyes at me.
“Quit eyeballing your sister, and tell us some more about this vacation idea of yours.” Poor Mom, she truly sounded excited about it.
“Yes, Max, please enlighten us with more details about this vacation plan of yours,” I said. “I am just so intrigued.”
“Justine, I hate you.”
“Love you too bro.” I even blew him a kiss with that.
Which made him look as though he wanted to strangle me. “Just trying to offer up some encouragement. I’m in the mood for a vacation myself and would love to hear the details.”
“You are so not helping here.” He was turning beet red. Maybe I should let up a little bit. I had barely had that thought before there was a knock at the door. My eyes went round as saucers. “Please tell me you didn’t.”
When Mom scooted back her chair to go to the door, Max stopped her saying, “I’ll get it.”
Sure enough, when he walked back in he had Chelsea on his arm. “Mom, Pops, meet Chelsea, my fiancée.”
After about two seconds of stunned silence, Mom finally recovered enough to say, “Justine, pass me that damn juice you hogging up over there.” Then she turned to Pops saying, “Henry, please tell me your son did NOT just bring me home a white girl.”
 
About the Author:
When you become a Mom, you begin to put yourself last, and your combat boots begin to collect dust.
Going to your child’s PTA meetings in full Gothic, especially industrial, regalia is pretty much frowned upon. Especially by your own children, and your teens would die of a heart attack. But, one should not have to completely stop being themselves, uniqueness is greatness. So all of that darkness is put into words in her books, and designs in her jewelry sold in her GothicMoms
DarkCharms shop.
Mother of five beautiful children, but by far more than just that. T. A. Moorman is an artist, a
violinist, a seamstress, a crafter, a writer, a blogger, a reviewer, a dark confidant and a darkly dangerous, fiercely protective friend. And currently broke, so go buy something of hers. Lol.
 
Author Links:

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Christmas Calamity

Title: Christmas Calamity
Genre: Holiday Romance, RomCom
Cover Designer: Dark Water Covers
Blurb:
Jane Grant hates Christmas because every year a new calamity awaits…
Jane’s being exiled from the Big Apple to Big Sky Country for the holiday season to help her boss’s best friend save his family’s ranch. She’s trading boardrooms for pastures and meetings for family gatherings. Unfortunately, her job is on the line a, and her luck has run out.
Colt Jackson is a hard working single dad at the end of his rope When he breaks down and asks his best friend for some help in hopes of saving his family’s legacy for his son, he never imagined his friend would send a prim and proper, walking, talking catastrophe his way.
With the holiday season throwing snowballs their way, will Jane and Colt be able to dodge them long enough to get the job done and the go their separate ways? Or will each Christmas Calamity change their luck for the better?
I spend my days working, my evenings with my two wonderful kids, and my nights are when the characters in my head are given free reign. The tagline for Phoenix Bar, “Beauty After the Burn”, holds special meaning for me and really helped to give birth to the story. Like Phoenix, I’ve had to rebuild my life from the ashes. It’s been a long journey with a roller coaster of emotions and stresses, but I can truly say where my life is now is more beautiful than where it was.
Author Links:

Love Garage

LOVE GARAGE

The Love Brothers, Book 1

by Liz Crowe

Genre: Contemporary Family Saga Romantic Comedy

MESSAGE FROM LIZ: This series is chock full of humor and heat … and REAL LIFE. It truly is not a typical, fantasy, fairy-tale romance but to me, that makes the HEAs that much sweeter. Please do NOT go into any Liz Crowe reading experience seeking billionaires, rescue-able heroines or cookie-cutter characters. These books are not for everyone but if you really groove on realistic situations, people behaving badly at times, and being redeemed by the love of family, friends, and spouses this IS the series for you!

Tired of Cookie Cutter Fiction?

Meet The Love Brothers!

WARNING: Do NOT read if you prefer your romance predictable and/or conventional.

Love Garage is open for business! In Book 1 of this compelling family saga-style romance series meet the Love family and see how oldest brother Antony deals with getting his girlfriend stolen by the baby brother Aiden. Hint: Not very well.

Set in horse country near Lexington, Kentucky, The Love Brothers Series is a saga of family devotion that runs as wide and deep as the Ohio River–except on Sundays when brothers Antony, Kieran, Dominic and Aiden work out their frustrations on the basketball court, Love brother style.

The Love Brothers: A family saga with humor, heat and heart…Not to mention beer, bourbon and basketball.

Meet the family:

  • Antony: The Big Brother
  • Kieran: The Athlete
  • Dominic: The Bad Boy
  • Aiden: The Baby
  • Angelique: The Sister

Rosalee drank a huge glass of water and lingered at the window, letting the night breeze cool her face, recalling the knowing arched eyebrow Paul’s mother had shot her when she’d dropped Jeffrey off. The concept that her own mother-in-law wanted her to be with Antony boggled her mind—well, okay, her former mother-in-law, she supposed.

What a mess.

“Well, that sounded like fun.”

She yelped in surprise, knocking the glass into the sink with a crash. Aiden walked in wearing nothing but a pair of sweat pants, sleepy eyed, hair tousled, as tempting and edible as she’d imagined. Anger mingled with mortification when the realization that he’d heard them just now slammed into her psyche.

“Jesus, Aiden. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were…I mean…shit.”

He grinned, making her knees wobbly. “Obviously.” He pointed into the sink. “We’d better take care of this.”

As he did that, he moved with a sort of quick efficiency in keeping with his trim body.

His trim…young body.

Rosalee bit her lip, wrestling her new-found, inner cougar slut back into its cage.

“Thanks,” she said under her breath, not trusting her voice.

He winked, drank his own water and walked past her. Before he made it to the hallway, he turned, then to her alarm and horror, put his lips so close to her ear she smelled his toothpaste. “Glad you convinced him. He needed that.”

He took her hand and pressed something into it. It had to be her heated imagination because he would never brush her cheek with a kiss. He headed down the hallway, went into a room and shut the door, leaving her clutching the torn halves of her bra.

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COACH LOVE (book 2)

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Formula-Free Fiction Guarantee!

It’s time for Kieran’s story….

WARNING: Do NOT read if you prefer your romance predictable and/or conventional.

Over the course of a few tumultuous months, middle son and peacemaker, Kieran Love is plunged back into life at the center of the family, where he must cope with one self-destructive brother, one ill-timed reconnection to an old flame and a series of bad choices that land him in more trouble than he’d ever known existed.

COACH LOVE, book 2 of The Love Brothers, a family saga of sibling loyalty that runs as deep and wide as the Ohio River…at least until Sunday, when Antony, Kieran, Dominic and Aiden work out their frustrations at the weekly Love brother pick-up basketball game.

The Love Brothers: A family saga with humor, heat and heart…Not to mention beer, bourbon and basketball.

LOVE BREWING (book 3)

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WARNING: Do NOT read this book….

….if you’re looking for a sweet, fairy-tale romance.

Every family has one: the black sheep, the problem child, the prodigal.

Dominic Sean Love could teach all of those guys a lesson or two and really should come with his own warning label.

Stuck in the middle of a boisterous group of siblings, he’s given “acting out” a new meaning from the day he drew his first breath. When he shows up at his on-again, off-again girlfriend’s farm, she’s inclined to shoot first and ask questions later. She doesn’t. And their lives entwine once more, for good, bad and ugly.

LOVE BREWING, book 3 of The Love Brothers, a critically acclaimed family saga with humor, heat and heart…Not to mention beer, bourbon and basketball.

FAMILY LOVE (book 4)

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Not Just Another “Mother Daughter Story…”

The Love Family Women Have Their Say

You’ve met the Love brothers….now it’s time for Mama Love and her only daughter to tell their story.

A wealthy horse farmer’s rebellious daughter meets a sultry stable hand…but the result is far from the average tale of forbidden romance.

The epic saga of one family’s turbulent beginning is entwined with the challenge of a mother’s relationship with her youngest child, the longed for only daughter, Angelique. But a secret Lindsay Halloran Love has kept for years could rip the tight-knit clan apart for good.

When novelist Aiden Love publishes his parents’ story he has no idea the trauma it will cause. This mash up of New Adult Romance and Women’s Fiction will satisfy your craving for the REAL “backstory” with a twist that is guaranteed to leave you, and the entire Love Family, breathless with shock.

SAFE LOVE (novella)

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The Oldest Love Brother Has a Secret

One He Really Needs To Share…

Family therapist and recent divorcee Margot Hamilton is dropped into the close-knit Love family by necessity but fate has a real design twist in mind. With her heart and mind closed to anything resembling an emotional connection, Margot is shocked to discover something about Antony the very first time they meet–something she tries, and fails, to resist.

SAFE LOVE, The Love Brothers novella is a tale of love’s realistic complications within the saga of family devotion that runs as wide and deep as the Ohio River–except on Sundays when brothers Antony, Kieran, Dominic and Aiden work out their frustrations on the basketball court, Love brother style.

Warning: NOT for the faint of heart. But then again it’s a “Liz Crowe book!”

Amazon best-selling author, mom of three, Realtor, beer blogger, brewery marketing expert, and soccer fan, Liz Crowe is a Kentucky native and graduate of the University of Louisville currently living in Ann Arbor. She has decades of experience in sales and fund raising, plus an eight-year stint as a three-continent, ex-pat trailing spouse.

Her early forays into the publishing world led to a groundbreaking fiction subgenre, “Romance for Real Life,” which has gained thousands of fans and followers interested less in the “HEA” and more in the “WHA” (“What Happens After?”).

With stories set in the not-so-common worlds of breweries, on the soccer pitch, in successful real estate offices and at times in exotic locales like Istanbul, Turkey, her books are unique and told with a fresh voice. The Liz Crowe backlist has something for any reader seeking complex storylines with humor and complete casts of characters that will delight, frustrate and linger in the imagination long after the book is finished.

Don’t ever ask her for anything “like a Budweiser” or risk bodily injury.

The Frenemy Series

The Frenemy Series
by Kate Benson
Romantic Comedy

 

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Kate Benson was raised in Texas and currently resides in central Florida with her husband and their growing army of fur minions.
She learned to read at the age of four and has been hooked ever since. She credits her passion for literature to her mother, her love of story-telling to her father and her unwavering faith in happily-ever-after’s to her husband, Sean.
Some of her favorite things include rainy days, loud music, superhero movies, hot tea and of course, lazy afternoons with a great book.
To find out more about Kate, her work or to just say hello, she loves hearing from her readers and can be found on social media.
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**This book contains adult content intended for mature readers**

Dash
Evie King.
God, even her name leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
I’ve put up with her for years for my best friend, her overprotective older brother, Mason.
I’d grown comfortable in my distaste, reliant on my hatred. But when a favor goes too far and I wake up naked next to my sworn nemesis in a hotel room in Dallas?
That’s when my life begins spiraling out of control.
We swore we’d keep it between us. We vowed to never let it happen again.
Until…
Can you crave and loathe someone at the same time?
I’m about to find out.
It only takes one snowflake to start an avalanche.
Welcome to the avalanche.

Evie
Have you ever met one of those people who just dry humps your last nerve?
Enter Dash Hunter. Humper of my nerves.
Leave it to this jackass to ruin my life.
I’d had it all, but one drunken mistake with this asshole has it all crashing down.
They say everything happens for a reason, but I see no rhyme or reason to this disaster.
This was never what we wanted, not at all what we planned.
We were supposed to do our respective walks of shame and move on, but then…
We were blindsided. We never saw it coming.
All we want is to go back to what made sense, back to hating each other, but there’s a problem.
How do you defeat your enemy when you’re no longer frigid?

 

 

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***This book contains content intended for mature readers***

 

Evie
Boy meets girl, they spend a decade at each other’s throats, seething with hatred until fate lands them wasted together in an airport hotel, waking naked and hungover to find they’d done the unthinkable.
Tale as old as time, right?
Dash and I both thought that’d be the happy ending of our dysfunctional fairy tale, but months of bad decisions have somehow led us to where we are now-crazy in love, despite how hard we fought it.
I guess we’d be alright if we hadn’t forgotten one minor detail: We still had to tell my insanely overprotective brother and Dash’s best friend, Mason, the truth about us.
We thought the feelings we had for each other would fade out as quickly as the alcohol, that we could fight fate.
We were wrong.

Dash
Secrets, lies, deception… we should have known from the jump we weren’t smart enough to pull any of it off.
I’m not sure what me and Evie were thinking. Hell, we were so blindsided by all of this, I think it’s safe to say we weren’t thinking at all.
If we had been, we would have moved on before everything went to hell. I should have turned around and ran before I fell for her wicked vagina voodoo, but I didn’t.
What started as the most awkward walk of shame in history with my nemesis shifted into something neither of us saw coming.
We were powerless… hooked… it came for us, slamming into us like a cinder block.
By the time we looked up and saw what was happening, it was too late.
We were already sprung.

 

 

 

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Birthday Bash – Comedy

Magic of Books Promotions hosted its first tour during the month of November three years ago.

The company was created from the passion and desire of its owner, Tami Adams, because of her experiences as an author. From her struggles to have her books viewed and appreciated she knew there had to be another way.

Three years later Tami no longer writes but is determined to show the world the magic that lies within the pages of all books.

The following authors are helping Magic of Books to celebrate its birthday. Enjoy.

Message from Tami:

The last three years have been an incredible journey. I’ve made so many friends who began as bloggers, readers, and authors. I have been privileged to present and showcase new and old books from seasoned and new authors. I’ve learned so much I didn’t even realize I should know prior to getting into this business. And after three years I can honestly say I’m still learning, I’m still growing, and I’m still making friends. I love and appreciate all of you who have supported my little slice of heaven. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

COMEDY

Comedy is a literary genre and a type of dramatic work that is amusing and satirical in its tone, mostly having a cheerful ending. The motif of this dramatic work is triumph over unpleasant circumstance by creating comic effects, resulting in a happy or successful conclusion.

Thus, the purpose of comedy is to amuse the audience. Comedy has multiple sub-genres depending upon the source of the humor, context in which an author delivers dialogues, and delivery methods, which include farce, satire, and burlesque.

Please enjoy these books that focus on comedy and all the sub-genres. The list is available in alphabetically order by title.

Don’t forget to enter the Rafflecopter.

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Desperately Seeking Sixty-Nine by J.D. Fettier

Romantic Paranormal Short Story Comedy

**2017 Reader’s Favorite Silver Medal Winner: Fiction/Humor-Comedy**

The year is 1969. Though there is war and unrest in the world, on August 15th, on a farm in upstate New York, a little concert will go down in history as the most famous music festival of our time: Woodstock.

It also happens to be the day Bonnie McMillan and Peter Hampton meet and begin their free-spirited love-filled journey with each other. What happens at Woodstock stays at Woodstock, right? Nope!

Fast forward forty-seven years. Bonnie unexpectedly passes after a night of hot sex and is whisked up to Purgatory, ‘The Green Room’ as they call it. Bonnie’s best friend meets her at the pearly green gates and the fun begins, from body sculpting to channeling.

Follow Bonnie on her erotically incorrect quest to re-connect with the love of her life. Or at the very least, make sure the sex toys are hidden before the kids start sorting through her things!

Exit Signs by Patrice Locke

Romantic Comedy

Tracy Price is a serious researcher. Then she meets minor rock star Jesse Elliot and the only question she wants to ask is, “May I sit on your lap?”

He’s trying to write a memoir that will bear his soul without invading his privacy and Tracy is trying to track a writer who vanished more than 70 years ago.

It all takes place in New Mexico, where Tracy has been happy with her uncomplicated life until Jesse rattles her brain and rocks her sanity. He decides she’s demented, and she believes he wouldn’t recognize the truth in a lineup of Bibles. Their only hope is to stop trying to read each other’s minds and start speaking their own.

And solving the mystery of the writer who’s been missing for more than 70 years may be the key to solving their differences.

So Unlike Me (Winning Your Heart #1) by Nikki Lynn Barrett

Contemporary Romantic Comedy

How to survive an unexpected breakup with your ex-fiancé on national TV:

1. Hide out under the covers at home.

2. Let your agoraphobic twin sister talk you into going to Paris in her place!

Lizette Monroe would be crazy to turn down her sweepstakes entering addicted twin’s offer. Paris, France? It’s the perfect getaway after all she’s been dealing with. All she has to do is pretend to be Nola. Can’t go wrong there, right?

Too bad it’s not France, but a small town Tennessee town. Still, it gets her out of the public eye for awhile.

Enter problem number one in the form of Dirk Ramsey, Nola’s childhood best friend. He’s grown up, gorgeous, and has eyes for her, except he thinks she’s Nola. Lizette wants nothing more than to tell him the truth, but Nola’s embarrassment and shame over her current condition has her begging Lizette to keep up the charade.

It wouldn’t be so hard if Dirk’s touch didn’t awaken a part of her soul she thought was lost. Did he really have to be there at every turn, especially when the truth is closer to coming out? And when Dirk does learn he’s been reminiscing with the wrong twin- the one who didn’t pay much attention to him back then, will that ruin a chance to get to know the man Lizette is now having romantic feelings for?

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The Anna Jennings Series

THE ANNA JENNINGS SUPER NOVEL SERIES

by E.J. Whitmer

Genre: Romantic Comedy

POWER SURGE

Anna Jennings is no superhero. In fact, had you asked her about superheroes a week ago, she would have called you crazy. She believes in routine, working hard and playing harder. But that all changed one night when she and her wayward sidekick Carl discovered several of her co-workers engaged in some decidedly non-run-of-the-mill human activities. Now her life is in a whirlwind as she finds herself caught up in the superhero world of her super-sexy boss and her long time crush as they battle the evil Captain Zinger (yes, really). Will Anna find a way to save her superheroes (even with the disastrous help of the spandex-loving Carl), her sanity, her new found love, and – oh yeah – the world? Find out in Power Surge – Book 1 in the Anna Jennings Super Novel Series!

Clark Kent was a fox. Seriously. The man could go from the nerdy-chic look of a newspaper reporter to liberty blue, spandex tights and still send hearts a-flutter. Granted, saving the world and being an all-around good guy didn’t hurt his image. But seriously. The man was a fox. And really, ignoring the Michael Keaton years, Bruce Wayne was pretty foxy himself. It’s no wonder when people think of superheroes, they automatically picture tall, dark, dramatically handsome men, flying around the city, rescuing beautiful women from their eminent demises.

I’ve spent my whole life envisioning said heroes. Growing up with four older brothers meant my world practically revolved around super heroes and villains. It also meant that at any time, I had four courageous, handsome and cunning champions to save me from evil. Whether I was stuck in a tree, being bullied at school, getting felt up by Jimmy Holstrom at recess, or crying over spilled ice cream, my personal super heroes were always there to swoop in and save me.

I’m twenty-eight now and still getting caught in trees, bullied by coworkers and crying over spilled ice cream. Jimmy Holstrom moved away in seventh grade, so he isn’t an issue anymore. (And really, I’d give up donuts for a month to be felt up right now.) Decades later, my brothers still swoop in to rescue me on a near daily basis.

Yet somehow, twenty-eight years of being rescued hasn’t taught me to butt out of sticky situations. It hasn’t taught me to think twice before climbing trees or to use sarcasm sparingly.

But really, what’s my motivation? Careful people don’t have cool scars to show off. They don’t have exciting childhood stories to tell nieces and nephews. They don’t appreciate the gift of life and how quickly it can be taken away. And they certainly don’t get rescued by foxy super heroes who wear their underwear outside of their pants.

 

POWER SHIFT

Mysterious trips out of town, a strange encounter with a naked guy and a possible werewolf attack … After a month-long hiatus from super villains, Anna Jennings’ life is finally regaining some sense of normalcy. One would assume that after her latest near death experience, she’d know better than to let her guard down too quickly. But as Anna is about to learn, complacency only leads to trouble. Evidently, March is the month for nudity in the world of superheroes. In the past week alone, Anna has seen more nipples and chest hair than she’s seen in her entire life, and not the good kind. Things only get stranger for Anna when her sidekick Carl is bitten by what may or may not be a werewolf. Now she has to help him prepare for the full moon, attempt to find time to spend with her sexy boy toy and avoid a plethora of random wannabe nudists, all while battling an invisible villain set out to destroy her superhero friends. Sounds easy, right? Well, no one ever said you need super powers to save the day.

I pondered that as we passed a caricature booth. A small group of elderly women surrounded one of their friends as she posed for the artist. A woman clad in lavender velour took one look at me and gasped, bringing me to the attention of the entire group.

“Goodness gracious!” she cried as she rushed over and began running my cape between her fingers. “What on earth are you wearing?”

I searched for Blake over my shoulder and found nothing but the bustling crowd. “Um … It’s a costume. I’m a performer down on the end of the Pier.”

“Dorothy, did you hear that!?” cried another woman sporting a sunhat the size of a manhole cover. “She’s a performer! Oh, honey. Won’t you put on a little show for us?” The women behind her squealed with delight, nodding and clapping furiously.

“Well …” I hedged. Lying on the fly is not my forté. “I’m not a solo performer. I’m a magician’s assistant. My partner … He’s … Well, he ate too many funnel cakes, so he’s visiting the commode.”

“Ah… Funnel cakes will do that,” agreed a tiny, wrinkly old woman in what looked like a frilly pink romper. “My Walter, God rest his soul, called them Hansel and Gretel Cakes. Whenever he’d eat one, he’d leave a trail behind him on the way home. Not of bread crumbs, of course …”

My eyes bulged in horror as the group nodded in understanding.

The lavender lady finished fiddling with my cape and shuffled around to my front, eyeing the bird logo screen printed on my chest. “What does this stand for, honey?”

I had no idea. I’d never asked Carl what it stood for. I shrugged my shoulders slightly. “I’m not totally sure. A friend made it for me.”

“Is that right? Well your friend has some serious talent! The workmanship on these stitches is wonderful! Do you have any extras I could buy off you? Perhaps something in a light purple or periwinkle?”

“I’ll need a built-in brazier for mine,” chimed a heavy-set woman in the back.

“Mabel, you’ll need a couple of built-in, reinforced hammocks to wrangle those monsters!” Snapped the sunhat lady.

“Well at least I won’t have to roll mine up like a couple of boobie burritos, you saggy old bitty! Good gravy, if you had nipple rings, they’d leave sparks on the cement everywhere you walked!”

The gaggle of grandmas immediately erupted. Sunhat lady began tucking her breasts into her trousers in preparation for their showdown. Lavender abandoned fondling my super suit to help hold back hammock boobs. I took the opportunity to slowly back away from the chaos and melt into the passing crowd.

POWER PLAY

Chicago isn’t exactly a stranger to bizarre happenings. Crime sprees are a daily occurrence in the Windy City. However, over the past few weeks, not only has the crime rate skyrocketed, but assailants have gone missing. When Vance Publishing employees start acting strangely, (i.e. Crying hysterically over dead goldfish and attempting to choke someone to death with a handful of macarons) it is up to the team at VP to find out what’s happening and put a stop to it. While Anna Jennings may not be a novice when it comes to bizarre episodes, she doesn’t usually find herself butt-deep in whipped cream on a Monday night. As if that isn’t bad enough, she has to juggle a failing relationship with her long-distance boyfriend and a sexy boss who has suddenly embraced his divorced status. Get ready for more crazy hijinks and sexy superheroes in “Power Play” – Book Three in the Anna Jennings Super Novel Series!

I stepped off the elevator onto my floor and my nostrils were immediately assaulted by the intoxicating smell of chocolate. It was all I could do to not moan inappropriately. I followed the scent across the floor, past Mae’s empty desk and into my office. There, sitting on my desk, sat a large pile of … something. Quite honestly, it looked like someone lured a buffalo into my office and allowed it to defecate on my mousepad. How something so heinous could smell so tempting is beyond me. I had no idea if I was supposed to eat it or cover it in a gallon of kitty litter.

“What smells so good and who the heck shat on your desk? Did you piss somebody else off this week?” Blake stood behind me, just outside the doorway, gaping at the pile of chocolate poo.

“Probably,” I admitted. “I can’t think of the last day I didn’t piss somebody off.”

“I dare you to touch it.”

“No way! You touch it!”

“Yoo hoo!” Mae’s voice carried over Blake’s shoulders. “Hot coffee comin’ through!”

Blake turned to let Mae through and slowly followed her into my office.

“Anna, I hope you don’t mind but I brought you another treat from my baking class.”

I accepted the mug of coffee from her and took a sip, my eyes glued to the brown pile on my desk. “What exactly did you bake, Mae? It smells delicious.”

“It’s a chocolate jelly roll, of course.” She set my customary box of granola clusters on the corner of my desk and dropped a handful of mail in my inbox.

“How does one eat a chocolate jelly roll?” I asked, daring to poke my index finger into the frosting. I touched the tip of my tongue to it, took a moment to absorb the flavors, and nodded in appreciation. It was actually quite delicious.

Mae chewed the inside of her lip as she considered her concoction. “You know, I’m not sure. Normally you’d just slice off a piece. I suppose I could go grab a ladle.”

3 Book Series

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E.J. Whitmer is a young-ish Iowa native who spends her days working in marketing and design. When she is not working or writing, she likes to spend her free time cooking, crafting, attending sporting events, harassing her outrageously good-looking husband or cuddling her new son.

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Halloween is Murder

HALLOWEEN IS MURDER

McKinley Mysteries, book 11

by Carolyn Arnold

 

Genre: Romantic Mystery Comedy

Beware of all that goes bump in the night…

Sean and Sara McKinley are excited about the haunted house they’ve set up as a Halloween charity fund-raiser, but things take a ghoulish turn when the reporter covering their story is found dead. With the media keeping mum about how she died, Sara’s curiosity is piqued, and she convinces Sean to take on the investigation through their PI firm.

But this case is not without its challenges. The police are actively investigating it, as well, and it’s not even clear that the woman was murdered. It will take a little cloak-and-dagger, dress-up, and finesse for the McKinleys to get to the bottom of it, but they aren’t the kind to give up.

As they troll for leads and work through the skeletons in the reporter’s closet, they unearth a few suspects, but they’ll need to carve out the whole truth if they’re going to find her killer. If they do so fast enough, there might even be time for a little trick-or-treating.

Chapter 3

SHADOWS OF NIGHT

SARA WAS CALLING YOUR SOURCE from her home office one last time. That’s what she told herself anyhow. She’d lost count of how many times she’d called them, but she had always met with a busy signal. And there it was again…

She lowered the receiver to its cradle. One could be certain that the station had plenty of rollover lines, so it had to be other people calling in about Chloe’s death, too. Other crazy people like her wanting answers. At least, she was sure that Sean thought she was crazy, but she had a niggling sensation in her gut that they needed to look into Chloe’s death.

Maybe it was because she and Sean were surrounded by murder wherever they looked and wherever they went. Even when they were supposed to be relaxing on their honeymoon, a case had found them. And the inclination to view any death as suspicious was embedded in her psyche from years working as a homicide detective with the Albany PD. Sure, Chloe could have died from natural causes, an accident, or even suicide, but it was also just as likely that someone had caused her death intentionally. To quiet her mind, Sara had to find out which scenario applied to Chloe. And if her calls weren’t making it through, there was another route she could take.

She flicked on the monitor, pleased that she had the habit of leaving her computer on most of the time. She brought up an Internet search engine and typed in Chloe’s full name and Your Source. This brought up pages of results. The first entry was a post from the television station entitled, DEATH OF LOCAL REPORTER CASTS DARK CLOUD OVER ALBANY. Sara clicked to open the link.

Scanning down the page, she found she was no closer to knowing what had happened to Chloe. There was no cause of death listed, but rather, the piece read like an obituary with a recap of Chloe’s career accomplishments and brief mentions of her personal life—she had a sister and had died single. That was it. Somehow it seemed like a sad summation of a twenty-five-year-old woman’s life that had been cut so short. There was so much that Chloe had yet to experience, and Sara hoped that Chloe had at least known romantic love at some point in her life.

Sara returned to her search results and clicked on many of the other links, but they were more or less copycats of the statement Your Source had published.

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Every Day Is Halloween

“A nice and fun, old-fashioned mystery. Halloween is Murder was a very well-written and fast read with great characters and a fun mystery with a resolution that I did not see coming.”

–The Reading Café

Ask anyone who loves Halloween and they’ll probably tell you their favorite part about it is dressing up. When you put on a costume, you can be whomever—or whatever—you want. It’s liberating! On top of that, it’s likely that there are all kinds of goodies lying around the house.

When I was a girl, I loved playing Barbie. I loved dressing her up and assigning her whatever life story I wanted. And, man, did I enjoy it! Maybe for a little too long, in fact. I kept playing into my early teens! At the time, I felt like some sort of freak. I certainly wouldn’t have wanted this news to get out to the kids at school. They probably would have called me a baby or something like that. So I kept this part of my life a secret, and I justified my addiction by pinning the blame on my sister, who is six years younger than me—she needed someone to play with!

Now that I’m older—much, much older—I look back and find this aspect of my past amusing. I realize that it’s absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about, but it shows me that I’ve always loved telling stories and acting them out. No wonder I became an author!

In the grand scheme of things, Halloween is very similar. The holiday allows people of all ages to participate in this fantasy, if only for one night. But as an author, I get to experience Halloween every day of the year. I become someone else every time I sit at my desk and immerse myself into the worlds of my characters. I get to delve into their minds, to know their thoughts, their feelings, their personalities, their lives. And I get to share my imagination with my readers. Now that’s a real treat!

Speaking of, I’m going to grab a small bowl of candy corn and gummy peaches and get to writing. Happy Halloween!

Carolyn Arnold

What to expect from the McKinley Mysteries:

Romance. Humor. Murder. Are you looking for a murder mystery without all the graphic violence and foul language? Something that you can enjoy in an afternoon and walk away feeling good about afterward? How about a dash of humor and romance? If so, meet former detectives Sean and Sara McKinley. When a billionaire leaves them all his money, they no longer have to work, but they find themselves sticking to what they’re good at—solving murders. Undercover, off the books, and around the world, they’ll get to the bottom of things…and romance it up along the way.

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CAROLYN ARNOLD is an international bestselling and award-winning author, as well as a speaker, teacher, and inspirational mentor. She has four continuing fiction series—Detective Madison Knight, Brandon Fisher FBI, McKinley Mysteries, and Matthew Connor Adventures—and has written nearly thirty books. Her genre diversity offers her readers everything from cozy to hard-boiled mysteries, and thrillers to action adventures.

Both her female detective and FBI profiler series have been praised by those in law enforcement as being accurate and entertaining, leading her to adopt the trademark: POLICE PROCEDURALS RESPECTED BY LAW ENFORCEMENT™.

Carolyn was born in a small town and enjoys spending time outdoors, but she also loves the lights of a big city. Grounded by her roots and lifted by her dreams, her overactive imagination insists that she tell her stories. Her intention is to touch the hearts of millions with her books, to entertain, inspire, and empower.

She currently lives just west of Toronto with her husband and beagle and is a member of Crime Writers of Canada and Sisters in Crime.

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What inspired you to write Halloween is Murder?

Halloween is probably the most popular holiday next to Christmas! Who wouldn’t want to read a Halloween-themed murder mystery? And it’s kept light and fun.

I understand this is part of the McKinley Mystery series, but can this book stand on its own? And can you share with us what the book is about?

Halloween is Murder can easily be read as a standalone.

In Halloween is Murder, Sean and Sara McKinley are set to celebrate Halloween in style, and they’re eager to invite the entire city to visit their haunted house fund-raiser. But their recorded segment for a local television station goes unaired and the reporter is later found dead. Sara’s determined to get answers, and she brings Sean and their entire PI firm along with her. There are more tricks than treats, however, as they try to carve out the truth.

Please tell us a little more about the McKinleys and their series.

Romance. Humor. Murder.

Those three words best sum up what readers can expect from the McKinley Mysteries series.

These stories are cozy in nature and appeal to readers who love a murder mystery without the gore or foul language. Each installment is novella length, with the exception of The Day Job is Murder, which is a short story. This makes the books “perfect for curling up for an afternoon” (Brooke Blogs) and “perfect to bring along on vacation” (Bound 4 Escape). The Layaway Dragon describes the series as, “perfect if you like clean-cut characters, a sweetheart romance, having the money to follow your dreams, and crime-solving abilities.”

To tell you a bit more, Sean and Sara McKinley are former homicide detectives with a talent for attracting death investigations wherever they go. When a billionaire leaves them all his money, they no longer have to work for a living, but they find themselves sticking to what they’re good at—solving murders. From sleuths to eventual private investigators, they’ll do whatever it takes to solve a case. Whether that means going undercover, off the books, or around the world, you can be certain they’ll be romancing it up along the way.

This is the perfect book series for fans of Hart to Hart, Castle, Colombo, Monk, Rockford Files, Psych, and Magnum, P.I.

What can readers expect when they crack the cover?

They can expect to feel the chill in the air, to see the colored leaves on the ground, and to slip into the world of make-believe in true Halloween spirit while Sean and Sara search for a killer. There is also, of course, some humor and romance along the way.

Name one specific just-for-fun liberty you took with the book?

In Christmas is Murder, I named the chapters after holiday-related songs, and I carried a bit of this fun over to Halloween is Murder. Each chapter is titled with a play on Halloween-related words or phrases. Here are some examples (in no particular order): “Dreading the ‘Boo,’” “Stuck Between a Grave and a Tombstone,” “An Attempt to Sweeten the Cauldron,” and “Grim Reaper Claims a Victim.”

What’s your favorite part about Halloween?

Seeing how happy people are when they dress up and pretend to be someone else for the night. And let’s not forget the candy!

What makes Halloween is Murder the perfect Halloween read?

It’s fun and light, just like the holiday. Throw in a murder to solve, dressing up, some cloak-and-dagger, and a haunted house, and who can say no to that?