Crazy, Stupid, Lazy Cupid

Title: Crazy, Stupid, Lazy Cupid
Author: Andie M. Long
Genre: Paranormal romantic comedy
Cover Designer: Tammy Clarke at The Graphics Shed
Publication Date: February 14th, 2019
Blurb:
Cupid’s have targets other than hearts…
After cheating on her monthly figures, Samara finds herself sent back to Cupid training school by the big boss himself. If she’s to pass her probation, she’ll have to prove she is capable of creating genuine love matches.
But things don’t get off to a great start when she finds out that pets aren’t allowed in school. Difficult when your husband has been turned into a Whippet until you’ve proven yourself.
Someone should have known that the crazy, stupid, lazy, cupid would try to find a short cut. It’s a walk in the park to create new romances, and she can exercise Johnny at the same time.
But not everyone wants Samara to succeed. Someone is waiting to take the lead…
 
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Andie M. Long is author of the popular Supernatural Dating Agency series amongst many others.
She lives in Sheffield with her son and long-suffering partner.
When not being partner, mother, writer, or book editor, she can usually be found on Facebook or walking her whippet, Bella.
Author Links:
Andie’s Halo and Horns Reader Hangout: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1462270007406687/
Mailing List: (get a free ebook of DATING SUCKS on sign-up): http://www.subscribepage.com/f8v2u5
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Samara
“Okay so it’s time to introduce the person to your left. They should have told you enough about themselves right now.” Martine, the uber-happy, bouncy pony-tailed teacher instructed us.
I was not uber-happy, or bouncy. I was super pissed off.
“Samara, could you introduce the person to your left?”
Yeah, pick on me first why don’t you?
Sighing and blowing air above my top lip, I pointed to the woman next to me. “This is Janet.”
She shook her head. “No, no. Jeanette.”
I rolled my eyes. “This is Jeanette. She’s been sent back to Cupid classes because she did something dumb.” I didn’t know what it was but if she hadn’t she wouldn’t be here.
“Well, let’s not use the word ‘dumb’ shall we. Jeanette just-”
“Fucked up?” I stated trying to be helpful.
“Let’s move along. Max, could you please introduce Samara?”
Max beamed like the goody-goody twat he was. From now on I was calling him Vax, due to his sucking skills and being full of crap.
“Samara is here because she set up Taylor Swift with Tom Hiddleston and we all know what a car crash that turned out to be.” He elbowed me. “I knew that wasn’t real. Did you give him the t-shirt? It looked like it could fit you?”
Martine’s face clouded over. Yeah she wasn’t so happy now was she?
“Samara did not set up Tom and Taylor. That is an outright lie.”
I folded my arms over my chest. “Well someone must have done it. Seriously ruined Tom for a lot of women she did.”
Martine stomped out of the carefully constructed circle of chairs she’d made us put together and grabbed a thick file from her table. Then she stomped back in.
“Here we go. Samara Leighton. Reasons for being back at Cupid Inc. Training Headquarters.
Samara’s behaviour towards her local colleagues resulted in one colleague being ridiculed and having to seek counselling. I quote. ‘What kind of person draws attention to an unfortunate mishap of another? Samara is crazy’.”
“Crazy is not waxing your vagina and then sitting with your legs apart in a spa.” I informed everyone.
“Samara engineered a speed dating event prior to the opening of the dating agency in Withernsea and we believe saw a man she liked there herself. She then ‘accidentally’ turned up on his date. This man is now her husband. Now, fortunately the date she ruined wasn’t fated anyway, but what she did that day was stupid.”
“We’re madly in love. The best match ever.” I looked at the other faces sat around. “Well we were. Now my husband is in kennels. KENNELS. They turned him into a dog.”
Martine carried on. “Samara’s monthly inputted figures included those pairings from Withernsea Dating Agency, run by Shelley Landry, with no actual input from Samara at all.
“It says pairings for the month. It doesn’t specifically say my pairings. That’s on Cupid Inc. They should be more specific.” I complained.
“It’s lazy, Samara.”
“So I’m Samara. I’m crazy, stupid, and lazy. That’s how you need to announce me to all the others, Vax.”
“Max.”
“What-ev-er. My introduction is complete.”
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The Way You Are

Presents : New Release
 
The Way You Are by Sylvie Stewart
 
Amazon
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Genre: Romantic Comedy
 
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“They say nice guys always finish last. I say the only place that should apply is in the bedroom — it’s just good manners, after all.” – Brett MacKinnon, nice guy and frequent resident of the friend zone
 
LIV:  There are really only three things I need in life: sex, baseball, and winning. My hot boyfriend and season tickets take care of the first two, while I always do my best to cover the last. So developing an unexpected crush on a new friend is more than a little inconvenient. I don’t have anything but friendship to offer Brett, but with the way he looks at me, he has me wishing I did. 
 
BRETT: I’ve been put in the friend zone so often, they’ve got a sandwich named after me. You’d thing I’d be used to it by now. But when it comes to the delectable Liv, I’m determined to ditch the friend zone and show her I’m boyfriend material. Too bad the position’s already been filled by a ball-playing caveman who could flatten me with his pinky.
 
What will it take to show Liv that nice guys can be more than just friends, and that love is the one game truly worth winning?
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The Sheriff’s Starlet

 

SCARLETT J. ROSE

I’m an Australian Indie Erotica/Romance Author who absolutely loves to write. On a good day, I can get out a 10k word short erotica piece, so long as my hubby doesn’t disturb me… 😉
I’ve always loved Science Fiction and fantasy, but I’m also branching out into contemporary romance/erotica. I’ve got plenty of stories to come out soon, please keep an eye out for new releases!

SOCIAL LINKS

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BLURB

Emmeline is a silent movie actress on tour throughout the wild west.

Hank is the sheriff of a town called Pillbottle. He thinks Emmeline is the most beautiful woman in the world, even though he hasn’t yet met her.

Jack is an outlaw known as Dead Eye Jack. He and his gang are responsible for murder, robbery and other serious crimes. He’s seen Emmeline’s films and is obsessed with the beautiful actress. He’s determined to make her, his.

Why do these three unlikely strangers cross paths?
And, what will be the deadly outcome?

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Between a Rock and a Royal

 
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Between a Rock and a Royal
by Sylvie Stewart
 
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Genre: Steamy Romantic Comedy
 
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Two foreign princes, one local girl in a serious jam, and a ’65 Mustang headed for Georgia. What could go wrong?
 
LEO: My brother likes to think he’s the cleaver one, and I usually let him. He’s the crown prince, after all. But he’s cocked things up royally this time, pardon the pun. It will take some quick thinking and a heavy dose of luck, but I’ll pull us out of it. Even if it means putting my trust in a stranger … a tempting stranger  who carries a wrench and an attitude.
 
RUBY: I knew before I even agreed that this would be a bad idea. But given my circumstances, I had little choice but to take these rich country-club rejects up on their offer. A ride in exchange for the money my uncle and I owe. How bad could it be? I’m sure I’ll survive and hopefully fix my problems in the process, but my heart might not be so lucky.
 
 
 
 
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About the Author
 
Samantha lives in Phoenix, Arizona and is often found reading or listening to a book. She writes to entertain both herself and her readers. When she is not writing she is spending time with her twins, who keep her thoroughly entertained.
 
 
 
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He Loves You Not

 
Title: He Loves You Not
Author: Tara Brown
Genre: RomCom
Publisher: Skyscape
Publication Date: October 23rd, 2018
How can a fidelity test possibly go wrong? In this sweet and sexy romance, international bestselling author Tara Brown counts the ways…
Among her superrich friends, Lacey Winters never minded being the “poor one.” That is, until her tuition money and big dreams vanish overnight. Now Lacey has a plan to make some extra cash—a devilishly brilliant plan. For a fee, she’ll test your boyfriend to find out if he’s faithful or a cheating jerk. Her next target: a slick and sexy trust-fund playboy. Unfortunately for Lacey, his charms aren’t just legend. And before she knows it, she’s under his spell.
It was bad enough that Jordan Somersby’s father forced a spoiled “society princess” on him. Then Jordan had to go and find his dream girl—the beautiful, fun, and down-to-earth Lacey. And he’ll do anything to prove he’s sincere. But pretty soon it’ll be Lacey’s turn to prove that this is not just a game.
Because, when it comes to mixing love and deception, nothing is what it seems. And Lacey and Jordan are about to face the ultimate test.
I believe growing up in a really small town gives a person a little advantage when it comes to the imagination. You need one or you go mad.
Needless to say, mine saved me. After it got me into trouble first, that is. That’s the problem with a vivid imagination, all the lies you tell.
I am happily married with two daughters.
I have two giant dogs, two savage cats, and a penchant for a glass of red.
Also, I drag my bread through the sauce. I can’t help myself, bread is life.
According to my age, I am meant to be a responsible adult, but it isn’t going well at all. I would still head off to Hogwarts tomorrow and I suspect there isn’t a single wardrobe I haven’t crept into, hoping to find the door to Narnia. And don’t even get me started on the King’s Road, I get lost.
Fortunately, I am an international bestseller so I have wormed my way into a quirky or eccentric category.
Thank God for that.
I am represented by Natalie Lakosil from the Bradford Literary Agency and am published traditionally with Montlake Romance.
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He Loves You Not

WTF Now Amazon Exclusive and in KU

 

SCARLETT J. ROSE

I’m an Australian Indie Erotica/Romance Author who absolutely loves to write. On a good day, I can get out a 10k word short erotica piece, so long as my hubby doesn’t disturb me… 😉
I’ve always loved Science Fiction and fantasy, but I’m also branching out into contemporary romance/erotica. I’ve got plenty of stories to come out soon, please keep an eye out for new releases!

SOCIAL LINKS

Facebook

Amazon Author Page

BLURB

Life was never meant to be easy, right?

Well, it’s true! especially for me.

I hadn’t had the best start to life, shithead parents whose abuse still haunted me, a job that I loved – but didn’t seem to be going anywhere fast, and a best friend who was about to pop out a baby – which rattled some skeletons in my own past.

But, when PC Richard Handcock slapped a parking ticket on my car, that’s when my life got… complicated.

Like WTF complicated.

BUY LINKS

Amazon US

Amazon UK

Amazon AU

Amazon CA

The Sheriff’s Starlet

 

SCARLETT J. ROSE

I’m an Australian Indie Erotica/Romance Author who absolutely loves to write. On a good day, I can get out a 10k word short erotica piece, so long as my hubby doesn’t disturb me… 😉
I’ve always loved Science Fiction and fantasy, but I’m also branching out into contemporary romance/erotica. I’ve got plenty of stories to come out soon, please keep an eye out for new releases!

SOCIAL LINKS

Facebook

Amazon Author Page

BLURB

Emmeline is a silent movie actress on tour throughout the wild west.

Hank is the sheriff of a town called Pillbottle. He thinks Emmeline is the most beautiful woman in the world, even though he hasn’t yet met her.

Jack is an outlaw known as Dead Eye Jack. He and his gang are responsible for murder, robbery and other serious crimes. He’s seen Emmeline’s films and is obsessed with the beautiful actress. He’s determined to make her, his.

Why do these three unlikely strangers cross paths?
And, what will be the deadly outcome?

BUY LINKS

AMAZON US

AMAZON UK

AMAZON AU

AMAZON CA

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